DISCLAIMER: I do not own Saiyuki and I am making no money from this or any other fan related work.
Note: Inspired by Gunlock ep.6, supplemented by the Reload manga arc "against the stream."
I wanted to write a fic with Doku in it... this is the result. It came out odd more than it worked I think, but let me know what you think of it.
Warnings: yaoi/lemon-ish, language
It wasn't a dream as such- he didn't dream. But it wasn't anything else either; perhaps an impossible construction of a fevered mind.
And it wasn't as if there was any reason for a situation like this to exist. Holy man and demon prince, in the same place at the same time, no death threats, no mentioning of the sutra, and no attempts at killing; just the light, and the blue sky and this invader upon his privacy...
It had to be a dream- except that he didn't dream. Not that it mattered. He pulled on his cigarette and shot a pointed glare up at the figure that stood beside him. He could count on the sheer stupidity of the demon to make this an encounter worthy of forgetting as soon as he possibly could. Maybe if he forgot it quickly enough it wouldn't happen.
The demon shifted and looked down at the man seated beside him. "How do we get out of here?" The dreamscape was unfamiliar to him, and his companion not one he would have chosen.
Ill will radiated off the man, and he leveled a glare at the demon before he shrugged, crushed out the butt of his cigarette, and tossed it away carelessly. "What I want to know is, how the fuck did you get in here in the first place?"
The demon blinked. "In?" He looked around. "Ah." The light fell over everything, brighter than any normal day; it was as if they stood in the heart of the sun. But he could see the high walls around the edges of his vision. "I don't know," he replied honestly. "I think it's some sort of mistake. I was looking for... this," he gestured around him, at the light, "but I thought I'd already found it elsewhere." He shook his head and, from the corner of his eye, caught sight of the blood. "I'm sorry if I'm intruding." The man snorted contemptuously and lit another cigarette. The demon was about to leave, but something made him stop and ask the man, "What are you doing here?" He was surprised when, after a long measuring look, the man actually answered.
"It's raining there." The man looked up, into the light that fell over him, and closed his eyes against the power of that illumination. "I like it better here," the man said softly, stubbornly.
The demon paused and looked up into the light also, letting the warmth of it fill him. But it wasn't his light; he felt the gentle touch of a caring hand and looked up into a kind, smiling face that was not at all familiar. He could feel the difference- this light was dead. Had died, a long time ago. He shifted his feet and glanced at the man; they weren't exactly anything that could be called friends, but in the honesty of his heart he'd never wished the man harm. And the ecstasy of his newfound knowledge was pouring out of him, demanding to be shared.
"I look to them for it," he said. It was a simple sentence, but so full of import. He wasn't sure if he'd made sense, but the man was glaring at him and he figured his words had some semblance of logic. He stood silently for a long time, waiting, and the man finally spoke.
"I tried that." The man's tone was short, annoyed. "This is the result."
The demon shook his head. "No, I mean that I had this," and he gestured around, at the light, the half hidden blood, the death, "this emptiness, and now I find it in others."
The man looked up at him, his expression doubtful, questioning of his conversation partner's intelligence and sanity. "Then nothing prevents you from achieving this again." The words were pulled from the man unwillingly, but they were sharp, edged like daggers. The man did not want to continue this conversation.
The demon nodded, letting it drop, not wanting to prod someone else's wounds when his own were so fresh they ached in sympathy. "I just thought I'd let you know." A derisive snort was his only answer as the man turned away and pretended to ignore him. He thought that the man would probably have left, if this wasn't his sanctuary to begin with.
He left the man there and returned to his own light.
Sanzo awoke, lying flat on his back and gazing up at the ceiling above him. Last night's storm was dripping off the eaves and trickling down the window above the bed as the soft light of predawn echoed through the room.
His fingers tightened reflexively; they were buried in someone's hair. Someone whose head was pillowed against Sanzo's stomach, his arms wrapped tightly around the monk. Sanzo propped himself up on one elbow and looked down at that head, his fingers stroking hesitantly through the fine, dark hair and brushing over the golden band that was bound around that head.
Kougaiji awoke with a start. Temporarily disoriented, his hand flailed out in search of some purchase. It connected with something; turning his hand around he felt warm skin under his fingers. He inhaled; the scent was familiar. Calming, he rolled onto his side, moving closer to the warmth of the other body in the bed. That body moved suddenly, a hand rising to brush against his face.
"Kou?" Dokugakuji asked softly.
Kougaiji smiled softly. "Just an... odd... dream." He leaned closer to the solid strength of Dokugakuji's body, his hand coming up to trace a line down the other demon's chest.
Dokugakuji draped an arm over his lord's side, letting his fingers trail over the dark skin. "Odd how?" he pressed, knowing that if Kougaiji didn't want to talk about it he would change the subject and Doku wouldn't press him further on the matter, but knowing also that his lord often needed to talk about the turmoil in his mind... and even more often wasn't able to. There were so few he could trust, and even among those few Kougaiji didn't wish to burden others with his troubles. Kou lay still against him for a long moment. Dokugakuji, taking that silence as the tacit permission it was, said again, "How was it odd? Was it about Lirin?"
"No," Kougaiji answered quickly, but paused before continuing. "It was..." He stopped again. "Never mind," he said dismissively, brushing both his hands up over Dokugakuji's shoulders and clasping them behind the other demon's neck. He pulled Doku's face closer to his; Dokugakuji shifted his body, rolling on top of Kougaiji, pulling his lord beneath him.
"Goku," he said, not loudly but not quietly either. Goku stirred, lifting his head to blink blearily at Sanzo as he smiled beatifically at the monk.
"Sanzo," he breathed, and suddenly seemed to remember that his position and actions weren't exactly concurrent with the approved list of positions and actions to be taken around the monk. He hesitated, apparently caught between several different courses of action. Sanzo frowned; that seemed to decide Goku. "Sanzo, I'm sorry! I came to check up on you after you went to bed last night, ‘cause I was worried, what with you and Gojyo getting sick ‘cause of the river, and you didn't look good ‘cause of the rain too, and I wanted to help you." He rambled, contrition in his voice, but his grip never loosened, in fact his arms around Sanzo's waist seemed to tighten, and he buried his face against the monk's chest.
They rolled over, and Kougaiji's breath hissed in between his lips as Dokugakuji's steady hands on his hips pulled them closer together, the prince's dark skin sliding along his own; Kougaiji's eyes drifted shut as he leaned backwards and let Doku's fingers trace familiarly over the planes of his chest. He leaned forward, bending over Doku, and the long tails of his hair fell to frame both their faces. Kougaiji brushed his thumb over Dokugakuji's cheek wonderingly. "I was... looking for you," he said, imparting a piece of his dream.
Doku looked troubled. "Why were you looking? Had I left you?" He touched his prince's face, wordlessly saying he could never do such a thing.
But Kougaiji shook his head. "No. I was lost... like I was when Ni..." He stopped speaking. Dokugakuji's eyes darkened and he pulled Kougaiji closer to him. Kougaiji lay against the warmth of his lover's chest, savoring that warmth. "But it was different as well," he continued. "He wasn't there. I found..." He hesitated. "Genjo Sanzo."
Dokugakuji lifted Kou's face to see if he was telling the truth, and then his eyes opened wide in astonishment. "Why did you dream of him?"
Kougaiji frowned as he puzzled through what he had experienced. "I think... maybe it wasn't a dream. I think I... went there to tell him something. To help him."
Doku was silent for a moment. "Kou, I know you disagree with Gyokumen Koushu, her plans and her methods, and after this business with Ni Jenyi I wouldn't blame you for refusing to go any further with her mad desires. But don't tell me this is some subliminal desire to start helping Sanzo and his group."
Kougaiji shook his head and his frown deepened. "No, it wasn't like that. It didn't have to do with the scripture. We were both looking for the same thing." He bent close to Doku's neck and inhaled softly, turning his head to lick over his cheek and taste his lips lightly before claiming his mouth more deeply. Doku returned the kiss completely; his hand tangled in Kougaiji's hair held him close.
"He was also looking for me?" Dokugakuji said teasingly, kissing Kougaiji's chin and throat as his prince laughed.
"No, Dokugakuji. He was looking for the light."
Sanzo frowned, the shreds of a dream hanging in tatters around his consciousness, and grabbed Goku by the chin, forcing his head up until their eyes met.
Goku looked at him, slightly surprised. "Sanzo?" he asked, questioning, eager, desirous. Sensing no resistance, he leaned forward, pressing their lips together, his tongue seeking entrance. Sanzo's eyes slid shut as he allowed himself to melt into that kiss, but he pulled away again and stared into Goku's eyes. "Sanzo?" Goku asked again, worried now. "You alright?" He raised a hand to the man's forehead. "You're not still sick are you?"
Sanzo released his grip and waved off Goku's well-meaning hand. "No," he said shortly. "I'm fine." He ran a hand through his hair and said, more to himself, "Just had a... weird dream."
"Weird?" Goku asked, but he didn't want Sanzo thinking too hard on this dream; weird or otherwise, it hadn't seemed to do anything to improve Sanzo's rain inspired mood. He leaned forward again and kissed his way over Sanzo's chin and along the length of his jaw. His hands settled on Sanzo's hips, sliding up under the monk's shirt, peeling the tight, black material away from that delicious pale skin.
Sanzo closed his eyes; lying back, he allowed Goku to undress him. It was a game they'd played for awhile now, and it shut the monkey up at least and stopped him from worrying, so Sanzo let him, pretending that if he didn't participate then it didn't mean anything. His head fell back against the pillow as fingers slipped along his hips.
Kougaiji threw his head back and moaned, his hands gripping Dokugakuji's shoulders as the other demon teased at one of the prince's nipples while lowering him down onto Doku's waiting erection. Kougaiji shuddered in anticipatory pleasure as he felt Dokugakuji fill him; he spread his legs further apart, aching to be filled completely. He lowered his head, licking his way up the curve of Doku's jaw all the way to the tip of his long ear, tracing the delicate structure of that appendage with the tip of his tongue as he moved against the other demon. A sudden hunger seized him and, with a moan that was echoed by Doku, he crushed their mouths together, attempting to devour the other as Dokugakuji ran his hands encouragingly up and down the length of his prince's body, urging Kougaiji on as his movements quickened, increasing the speed of their joining.
The forceful need for breath finally broke their consuming kiss. Doku gasped for breath as all that remained to him was pulled from him in a desperate moan at the motions of his prince's body above him. "Oh, Kou," he whispered, burying his face in his prince's neck, kissing his throat as Kougaiji quickened his pace, their bodies moving together in a wildly desperate ecstasy, sweat sheening off of them. Dokugakuji's hands trailed down over Kou's chest and stomach until they wrapped around the hardened flesh between his prince's legs and Kougaiji groaned approvingly.
Sanzo stifled a gasp as he felt his body responding to Goku's tender, exploratory touches. His hands balled into fists at his side, but he forced them to relax. He raised one hand and brushed his fingers through Goku's hair with an abstract fascination. Looking up from where his tongue and fingers were about to meet over the curve of Sanzo's hip, Goku fixed dark eyes on the pale face of the man who lay watching him. "Sanzo," he said, breathed like an incantation, and gently took the hand that rested on his head and kissed the palm.
Sanzo's jaw clenched at the tone in Goku's voice and his fingers suddenly closed, his hand gripping Goku's face tightly as a slightly feral expression passed over the monk's face. It was too much... He didn't want this... He didn't want this, this worship from anyone, the stupid masses of people that were always begging him to think for them, protect them; he didn't want anyone to say they cared about him, because they couldn't really, and he wasn't worth it anyway; he didn't want their lies anymore...
Goku's eyes were locked with his and the monkey just stared at him, not resisting or fighting as Sanzo's fingers tightened further, closing with crushing force around Goku's face. Sanzo froze suddenly, his eyes clearing as he truly looked at Goku, looked at the eyes that stared right back at his, no fear visible in them, and deep in their golden-brown depths, a light.
Kougaiji hissed as he felt Dokugakuji's claws scraping down his back, the other demon's moaning joining with his own as Kougaiji's hands curled into fists. Turning his head to the side he nipped and licked his way over the side of Doku's face, a shudder running through his body as he panted for breath, moving with a desperate urgency against the other demon. His body shaking with the force of his emotion, his spine arched back as he thrust against the hot hands that held him one last time. A strangled cry burst from his throat and his eyes flew open wide... but saw nothing, except a brilliant white light.
He released Goku, flinching away from him as if burned. "I..." Sanzo started, but couldn't continue.
"Sanzo," Goku breathed again, his voice soft. He took Sanzo's hand again and again kissed the palm, but Sanzo snatched it away from him. "Sanzo," Goku repeated, looking up to meet the man's eyes again and in those eyes Sanzo saw only honest devotion. None of the self serving demands and desires he got from everyone- from the needy peasants all the way to the pompous floating heads. "Sanzo, I just wanna be close to you," Goku murmured, lying down beside the monk as if to illustrate this point. "I don't care about anything else. Whatever you want." He looked up.
Sanzo sighed, a sound like some great battle had been ended, or at least fought to a standstill. He reached out to again run his hand through Goku's hair.
The dreamscape was slightly more familiar this time. He turned to the man. "We meet again."
The man threw the cigarette down on the ground with an angry gesture. "Whatever."
The demon eyed him speculatively. "You brought me here. I wouldn't have made the same mistake a second time."
"I didn't fucking bring you here," the man snarled at him. "And you can leave before you even think about saying anything else."
The demon looked around him at the light. The blood was gone, the smell of death as well. He smiled, though it was more of a sly grin really. "I see my words had at least some effect."
The man's expression implied that implementing a method of killing people who insisted on invading his mental retreat was suddenly going to become one of his top priorities. "Don't think this fucking means anything. It's not like we're gonna play nice when we see you again."
The demon had his own chance to look with derision on his conversation partner. "I wouldn't expect it of you. And don't think we're giving up either. But just so you know, and don't forget it in the future," he leaned in closer to the man, ignoring his death glare and the semblance of a raised gun, and whispered in his ear, "it's the light that keeps you going." He leaned back. "You already know that. But what you don't know is it works both ways."
And he wasn't sure if he believed his eyes, but the man threw back his head and laughed, the sound echoing off the walls, which the demon suddenly noticed weren't as tall as they had been before. The man's eyes were filled with a mirth that was cold and yet warm at the same time. He looked up at the demon. "Moron. If there's one thing I know, it's how much he thinks of me."
"But you still fight it."
The man's shoulders hunched as he turned away. "He shouldn't put so much faith in someone else." The words especially not in me echoed after that statement without needing to be said.
The demon turned his face up to the sun. "Your attempts to discourage him will continue to be unsuccessful," he predicted. "The sun might as well demand the trees not grow toward the source of their life." He paused, glancing at the man. "Light cannot deny its nature, and the creatures of this world cannot escape their need for it."
He wished it was just a dream, except he never had them, because then he could just ignore it. It was damned annoying, and it made too much sense for his liking. He glared at the demon, but could find no appropriately scathing retort available. The demon smiled.
He leveled a finger, deadly as any loaded gun, at the demon. "If I never talk to you or see your sorry ass again, it'll be too fucking soon."
The demon snorted. "Likewise." He turned toward the light, holding his hands out to it, letting it cover his skin. "It's just... the first time it takes you..."
The man paused. "You think the rest of the world should be so lucky as to have this."
They looked at each other. The demon nodded.
He turned away from the demon, trying to deny that he cared, assuring himself that when he woke up neither of them would remember any of this. "So, go away already," he grumbled, and when he turned around again he was alone. "About damn time." He sat down in the wash of the light and let it fall over him. In a distant, physical world he could feel arms tighten around him.
