Note: Gundam Wing owned by Sunrise or whoever, not by me. No money is being made from this fanwork; no infringement is intended.
Title from, and story inspired by, the song "Rest Stop," by Matchbox 20, off their album Mad Season.
A version of how Heero leaves at the end of Endless Waltz. (end of endless waltz? that's fun to say!) I've been reading a lot of "grrr, kill Relena" stuff, and I felt a sudden urge to defend her, which is mostly what this fic is.
I just got this idea in my head and it wouldn't leave me alone... So I thought I'd get it out so that all the other ideas that are supposed to be in my head can fit in there...
The music played softly in the background as the car started moving again. Trying his best to ignore the other occupant of the vehicle, Heero dozed off. After awhile, a sudden cessation of movement jerked him out of his doze. He glared at Relena, silently querying as to the problem. She leaned forward, cradled her arms against her knees, and sighed. She looked at him, her eyes- for once- almost devoid of affection.
"Heero..." she murmured. He leaned back, stunned. He'd never known her voice to be so soft and... actually pleasant. "I can't go on like this, Heero. I know you promised you'd help me, be my bodyguard, but... I know this isn't where you want to be. A promise is no good if you have to make yourself keep it, and I think it's killing you to keep this one. I tried to be what you needed, but... I'm not."
He just looked at her, and there was more emotion in that glare than he had ever shown her. What was she talking about? He had always been able to lie to himself, but... Did she know him better than he thought? She seemed to know him better than she had any right to; she knew the words that he never had said. He kept his emotions buried so deep, sometimes even he wasn't sure how he felt.
"I have to admit it." Her voice drew him back to the situation at hand. "I don't want to, more than anything in the world, I don't want to admit that I know how you feel about him. But... I do. And he needs you now. And I... I need more, Heero. More than what's happening here with you. I need someone who can put his heart into the job, not just go through the motions. Do you remember how to do that? Or have you forgotten how to live in times of peace? Did you even ever know? Because it's not about saving little girls anymore, Heero. It's about living life. Living it how you want it to be."
He licked his lips, feeling compelled to say something, though he wasn't sure why or what. But his mouth was as dry as a desert, and the look on her face in the faint light stopped him.
"I always used to wonder what it was you dreamt about. I don't wonder anymore. I know. And I hate what I know. I don't care anymore Heero, and if I don't say something now I'll let myself be pulled back into the delusion that maybe, someday, I could make you care about me that deeply. So just go. Go now."
He wanted to deny what she was accusing him of, but found that he couldn't. He met her eyes, and slowly opened the door. Scooping up the pack that contained all the possessions he valued, he stepped out into the street. He stood on the side of the road, watching the blur of pink fade into the distance, eventually swallowed by the night.
His eyes turned to the stars for a moment. And for that moment, just him alone with the sky, he let loose everything he had been keeping inside of him for so long. Without people, there was no need for masks, and he stripped away the one he had been wearing and left it by the side of the road with the broken glass and used cigarettes. He only wanted to see one person ever again, and with him there should be no masks. There would be no masks; no lies. He searched the stars for the one that reflected his heart's desire.
Can you hear me? I'm coming.
He turned back toward the rest stop. There was a phone there, and he had a call to make. He could still hear the music as if from a great distance, and he thought, striding out under that huge expanse of sky, that he had never felt so free.
